So tonight I went to a party where i knew some of the people attending but most of them i wouldn't. As always i walk into parties very weary and kind of anxious because I tend to be an introvert. I made rounds and said hi to everyone i knew but not the ones i didn't because I am just an awkward person and I dont know how to just introduce myself to random people. After I was done talking to the host, who's birthday it also was, she went back to making her rounds.
After she walked away one of the people that live in the same apartment complex started talking to me, and it was mostly a one sided conversation because I would only chime in here and there. I found myself more listening to her talk and analyzing the way she talked, how the conversation was being lead and by why, indicators of inflection and facial movements. I found myself thinking about what was going through her head while she was talking. I was trying to read between the lines. Im not saying she was hitting on me or any kind of subtle attraction.
A lot of the times I am thinking one thing and saying another. Im not trying to hide an specific feeling or any deeper meaning. I tend to multitask when having a conversation. Even as I am talking my mind tends to wander in different directions, about the conversation, where this conversation is going and why do i have the nervous tick of always looking in a direction of something moving in my periphs.
As the night went on i talked to multiple people, or more like multiple people talked to me and I chimed in every once in awhile when it seemed appropriate. I feel more comfortable listening than I do talking and i find myself giving very empathic based on a mixture of my feeling and the feelings of the person I am talking to.
I dont know what the point of this story is but its super late and i just felt like writing. I need to do this more, and maybe thinking about the subject I am writing about a little more thoroughly and with purpose.
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